Detach myself, huh? How exactly am I supposed to do that? From people with whom I‘ve spent my whole life. When they start to fall apart, I should grab all I’ve got and FLEE??!!
Of course, it’s my life, to be lived and enjoyed by me. Never mind all those who’ve put it together. See, now you are independent. So when the ship is burning, run for your own life, save yourself.
You love someone with all your heart. Forgive all their small misgivings. Knowing they are not innocent, and yet loved. But it was all just a farce. They are just used to getting love, getting, getting. Sincerity and loyalty are not in the picture and not to be expected.
And now, finally, it’s all bare before me. No, don’t cry. I’m the clever one. Pretending I was never attached, so that the hurt doesn’t sink deep. Take life head on.
But things will never be the same. Deep inside, I know that. But I can’t let that show. That would crumble the whole pretense. The show must go on. And strengthen the fallen ones, who loved deeper and lost all.
There is nothing permanent in life, least of all the characters. One moment…..that realization can turn around your whole world. That bubble you live in is make-believe, apt to burst with the tiniest prick. Strengthen yourself because all that remains is you. Ultimately, life has to be lived alone. Can anyone actually ‘share’ their deepest joys and sorrows? I don’t know, I have never felt that.
People tell me, don’t overdramatize. It’s happening all around. You are not a lone victim. Great consolation that is! My sorrow is mine own, not to be explained or convinced. You can talk it out, but will anyone really understand? Can you make them ‘feel’ what you are feeling?
The mind will create its own heaven and hell, free from the reality around. Make your own world; it’s the only way to survive. None need break and enter, none needs to be let in. Mine own, sweet self is company enough.
4 comments:
hey!!! i really love the flow of your thoughts! and the way u have managed to capture each of those stray thoughts and arrange them in a way that made sense...wow!
keep it up!
hey, my first real comment and compliment! really excited, thank you so much. will definitely keep it coming.
Mmmm My first real lesson in life
" Kevaloham" Enikku gnan maathram" Really this is serious stuff. Once weve learned that lesson nothing can really really hurt us. we will be reminded of that again and again. One of the first lessons in the Bible, "Do not eat of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil" The tasting of that fruit got Adam and Eve thrown out of Eden. So called good things and bad things happen in our lives the goodness and badness are the fiction of our mind but I shouldnt be telling you all this cos you are a philosopher in your own right.
thank you so much, maathen cheta. this is my most honest and spontaneous piece of writing, written out of pure frustration. thank you for the appreciation.
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