My Fairy Godmother

I thought that I had moved on; that the pain and tears were buried and locked away, never to resurface. But all it took was a glimpse of her in an old photo. A flood of blinding tears and sad memories was released. Uttering her name itself is an effort, a pain, as if that sound carries a bit of her in it.
Death is so confusing. Death of a loved one leaves us perplexed. Warm, laughing images of her with her funny tones and naughty expressions, clash with a harsh picture of her, lying in a casket, oblivious to all the emotion being unleashed around her. I could never forget the last kiss I gave. As my lips touched her soft cheek, the chill of her body sent a tremor through me. I did not want to let her go, I wanted to stroke her and warm her back to life. I wished that when my hot tears fell on her face, she would open her eyes, get up and comfort me. Those loving arms which had enfolded me so many times, lay limp at her side.
Towards the end, we used to visit her at the hospital and at home. I remember, each goodbye was a tight hug, “pray for me”, she would whisper and both our eyes would well up.
Why is she filling my thoughts tonight? So that I can write this? My dear aunt and I were kindred spirits, she was just a slightly different version of my own amma. We loved each other so much. Maybe the fact that she chose to leave this world on my birthday would be a testimonial to us. I like to believe that she does not ever want me to forget her, as if ever I could. That was my worst birthday ever, the day she died. ‘Died’, how easy to write that word.
On my birthday, my friends would call to wish me and invariably the next question would be, “hey, whats wrong?, hearing my dull reply. Oh God, you called her too soon. I wanted her here for some more years. I could always turn to her for mature, practical advice. She should have taught me her wonderful dishes. She should have known that I have become an architect. She should have been there I get married. But I like to believe that she is still here.
God felt that she would be much happier with him. I know I can pray to her for any of my problems. We have got our very own family angel up there now!