Detach myself, huh? How exactly am I supposed to do that? From people with whom I‘ve spent my whole life. When they start to fall apart, I should grab all I’ve got and FLEE??!!
Of course, it’s my life, to be lived and enjoyed by me. Never mind all those who’ve put it together. See, now you are independent. So when the ship is burning, run for your own life, save yourself.
You love someone with all your heart. Forgive all their small misgivings. Knowing they are not innocent, and yet loved. But it was all just a farce. They are just used to getting love, getting, getting. Sincerity and loyalty are not in the picture and not to be expected.
And now, finally, it’s all bare before me. No, don’t cry. I’m the clever one. Pretending I was never attached, so that the hurt doesn’t sink deep. Take life head on.
But things will never be the same. Deep inside, I know that. But I can’t let that show. That would crumble the whole pretense. The show must go on. And strengthen the fallen ones, who loved deeper and lost all.
There is nothing permanent in life, least of all the characters. One moment…..that realization can turn around your whole world. That bubble you live in is make-believe, apt to burst with the tiniest prick. Strengthen yourself because all that remains is you. Ultimately, life has to be lived alone. Can anyone actually ‘share’ their deepest joys and sorrows? I don’t know, I have never felt that.
People tell me, don’t overdramatize. It’s happening all around. You are not a lone victim. Great consolation that is! My sorrow is mine own, not to be explained or convinced. You can talk it out, but will anyone really understand? Can you make them ‘feel’ what you are feeling?
The mind will create its own heaven and hell, free from the reality around. Make your own world; it’s the only way to survive. None need break and enter, none needs to be let in. Mine own, sweet self is company enough.
